Fangala the Flying Feline

I want to respond to this because I'm a girl. Overall, good job. Words like "freaking" and "crap" are probably what saved this. But Gwen (I think it was Gwen) ...

Okay. Well, sorry to say, but this has A LOT of grammar problems. I won't point them out, but they're just little mistakes; you'll catch them if you read over ...

Bravo, Gwen. Quite nice. I didn't think your title was emo--I actually like it a lot. Blood doesn't always have to represent depression. It's fiery, like passion! So yeah, good ...

Oh, wow. This was so...addicting. I couldn't stop reading it, and I'm pretty sure my heart went crazy. Great job with the choppy style--you really pulled it off. Somehow, overusing ...

Ooh, lovely! I like how you start with "so." It's an interesting technique, beginning in the middle instead of the beginning. I think it's very clever how you rhymed "youth" ...

I agree with Ayra; this was sweet. Your first line is especially vivid and gripping. Very profound, too, a metaphor for how fear is self-induced and you can fly out ...

Whoa there, Ida, slow down. First of all, why the HECK did you post chapter two first? offense, but I thought it was common sense to put chapter one first. ...

Well, I liked it. I didn't think it was too rough; in fact, the short line breaks pulled me in more, so I think that was a success. I also ...

Hi! I thought this was very cute; it makes me miss my dog, who's at home in the USA while I'm in Mexico! But I do agree with Amelia to ...

Hm, interesting. I can say I've never read a poem quite like this before. Your first line is gripping, so good job with that. However, some of your verses were ...

I love the Twilight series, but I'm also a sucker for bad humor! So, quite simply, I ADORED this! Really funny, short, and random. I just finished Eclipse (so much ...

Wow, now that I look at your avatar, I feel all warm and fuzzy and shivery inside! I like Edward a lot more than Bella. Bella honestly gets on my ...

Wow. Interesting. Your concluding couplet was completely irrelevant and yet totally fitting at the same time, sort of jolting the reader out of the poem. Good, though. You don't need ...

Aw, sweet. Your tone suited the story perfectly--snowy and lilting and dreamy. I found myself irresistably pulled into this, so congratulations. On the side of criticism, I found your dialogue ...

You're going to put everyone in that writing class to shame. :D This was great; I agree with Suzanne that you have an amazing grasp of metaphors. However, you go ...